Monthly Archives: January 2015

Oh why wouldn't you zip beloved pants!

How I Became “The Dog Show Floozy”

Dogs, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,

floo·zy   ˈflo͞ozē/

  • a girl or a woman who has a reputation for promiscuity.

Yup.  That’s me, the Dog Show Floozy.  What? You mean you haven’t seen my video and pictures circulated through Facebook, Youtube, and soon to be on Huffington Post?  Well if you haven’t…PHEW!!!! I haven’t either, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t out there waiting to creep up when I least expect it!

You see, unlike other “sporting” events, showing dogs is a somewhat fancy and formal event.  Though, if they ever start showing in swishy pants and casual tops I’ll embrace with glee!  Dog show people typically wear business suits, skirts, dresses, ties, bow ties and the signature “comfort shoes.”  Comfort shoes mean no heels, and something you can run with your dog in.  This also translates to shoes that often don’t match the outfit AT ALL.  I would get more dressed up for a dog show than I would to go to my former corporate job!

So anyway, I wanted to start this year off with a bang (and I did) and entered Envy, my Portuguese Water Dog, in a show near Cleveland for the first weekend in January.  But, much to my dismay, I started off January 2015 a little heavier than December 2014 (damn holiday festivities!) and found that many of my dog show suits would take an act of GOD himself to comfortably zip.  My trusty Spanx got it close…but God forbid I have to go to the bathroom at the dog show.  It’d all come undone like a house of cards…except that is kind of what happened.  Not the going to the bathroom part but….well the all coming undone.

The show was in an arena at a fair grounds so not as dressy as many of the other shows we had recently gone to.  So I dug and I dug in my closest and found a cute knee length black skirt with a little flow and a stretchy top to fit the “girth growth” bill, paired it with control top black panty hose and a turquoise shirt and coordinating vest.  PROBLEM SOLVED.  I was presentable, I had one of my beloved vests on, the skirt was black and not the ideal color for my dog, but she has a flashy neck so I’d just stand closer to her front when I stacked her and for me, the dilemma was solved.  Except…

You see, Envy is a wicked smart dog.  She’s like a rocket on the agility course, loves obedience and would like nothing more than to play with other dogs and jump in rivers and lakes all day.  But, she is NOT a fan of conformation dog shows.  I get it.  I probably wouldn’t want some stranger staring me down, feeling me up and making me be all “controlled” to assess my best and worst attributes compared to some standard.  But, I do enjoy them, and feel that a pretty girl like her should be a champion and let everyone know she does have some nice attributes to be checked out.  So before we go into the ring for her assessment, she needs a little pep talk outside the ring.  This is usually in the form of playing with a toy, doing tricks, jumping in the air and gaiting (aka mommy and dog running) back and forth.

So in my well put together outfit if I might brag, we run back and forth and play with her toys.  She’s happy.  She’s got her tail up, she’s play bowing at me, I’m making fun noises for her and all is right in HER world for a bit.  Oh, did I mention this is an arena?  You know, an arena, the kind where there’s a lower level and then a surrounding upper level…where you can be up in the upper level and look down to see all of the dogs and people that are about to go in the ring?  Yes, an arena…and we’re on the lower level doing our pep talk.

So as we play, a kind woman comes up behind me as I stop to check and see how close I am to ring time.  She gently puts her hand on my shoulder, leans in close and whispers in my ear, “I don’t want to alarm you, but your skirt is around your knees and your ASS is completely exposed.”  SAY WHAT?!?!?  She continues on to say she didn’t want me to be on “What Not to Wear: Dog Show Edition.”  And though I’ve never seen the show, I may be making my debut there soon!

I was betrayed.  Betrayed by my outfit, by my dog (she could have had the decency to give me a wink or nod) and betrayed by the damn control top panty hose.  Had I have went barelegged like I wanted to I’d have at least felt the draft!  But noooooo, it’s January in Cleveland aka minus 50 degrees so I wore panty hose and thick ones.

I graciously thanked my confidant and added “Well shoot, you figured out my secret weapon for this judge.”  I tried to do one of those crowd scans where you’re looking around at everyone to see who might be recording, but trying not to make it obvious, all the while trying to casually find the edge of the skirt to YANK back up.

To make matters worse, they were ending the class that was right before the the class I was supposed to go in.  So I wildly tried to tether the skirt back to my body by tucking it into my panty hose and HOPE that it stayed that way for my gallivant with Envy around the ring.

It stayed…to the best of my knowledge.

And that’s how we started off 2015 as “The Dog Show Floozy.”  Never a dull moment!  From now on I’m getting pants suits…and maybe my mother-in-law was right and I did corrupt her son…NOT! :)

Oh why wouldn't you zip beloved pants!
Oh why wouldn’t you zip beloved pants!

 

 

I think that about sums it up! Powerful message to keep you on track.

2015 The Start of a New Year and New Adventures

Paying off Student Loan Debt, , , , , , , , , , ,

What can I say, I LOVE THE START OF A NEW YEAR!  There’s always something special- something magical about a new year.  A fresh start, new adventures and new goals.  Of course, things still carry over from the previous year, but I always feel like a new year can mean new and different results.  2015 is going to be one of our most challenging years yet…I can feel it!

2013-Goodbye Pop

In previous years, Doug and I have made some sort of health/food resolution.  In 2013 we gave up pop for those fellow Northeast Ohioans and for the rest of you, we gave up soda.  So since 2013 neither one of us have drank any pop.  No Diet Coke (my previous vice), no Cherry Coke, no Sprites, not even an Orange Sunkist.  For Doug this was a very, very easy year.  He didn’t drink pop much to begin with, just the occasional can here or there or he did really like frozen Cokes and root beer floats.  But for me, I was drinking a Diet Coke from the vending machine every-single-DAY!  If you think about that money wasted (50 work weeks x 5 days a week x $1.50 a bottle = $375), I could have bought some really nice “stuff” or invested that money in a decent growth stock mutual fund with a 10% return and had about $973 in 10 years!  Talk about a lost opportunity!  But anyway I digress.

So we gave it up cold turkey on the first of the year.  You don’t really realize how addicted you are to something until you give it up.  The first month was challenging for me.  So many things triggered my “need” for a Coke.  Lunch time at work as a pick me up.  Going away parties at work.  Doritos, pizza and a need for coke.   Or the two really hard ones for me, free drinks available for the taking at work lunch meetings (FREE POP!!!) and when I would hear the “click/pop” of a can being opened or that telltale “hiss” of a bottle being opened.  It set me to drooling like one of Pavlov’s dogs!

But every time I said, “NO, no pop today” I found that I had more strength the next time.  A little over 2 years later and I’ve not touched a can of pop.  We originally did this because it was a waste of money, a waste of calories and we didn’t feel like the chemicals were probably that great for us.  Now recently I’ve seen people taking cans of Coke and using them to clean their toilets.  Yowza!  I can’t say I’ve seen any amazing health benefits, or mind clarity, but overall, I’m happy with the decision we made and don’t plan on guzzling a can any time soon.

 2014-Quitting Fast Food

In 2014, we decided to give up fast food.  This one was definitely a tough one for us.  We were by no means fast food junkies, but like most American’s we visited some fast food joint at least once or twice a week for our burger and fries or that delicious chicken sandwich.

There were a bunch of people that got a bit huffy about our choice stating, “Not all fast food is bad” and “Every fast food restaurant has a healthy option.”  And they’re right, I agree.  You can go to McDonald’s, Chick Fil A and Wendy’s and get healthy options, but that’s not what most people do.  And we weren’t different.  When we’d go, we’d get something delicious and then regret it afterwards.  I can’t tell you how many times I ate a grilled Chick Fil A sandwich…but it didn’t stop there.  I also had the amazing waffle fries and loved every single bite until the “after” set in.  The horrible heavy feeling in your stomach.  The one that left you feeling like you needed to exercise immediately.

So on New Years 2013 we decided to buy some of the greasiest food we could.  We went to Mc Donalds and bought Big Macs and Large Fries and then wrote how we felt while eating it.  We took that Post It note and hung it on the side of the refrigerator as a reminder.

I think that about sums it up! Powerful message to keep you on track.
I think that about sums it up! Powerful message to keep you on track.

It’s been tough at times, especially when seeing Chick Fil A or Wendy’s, but if we remember back to how we felt after our Mc Donalds binge, it makes it quite a bit easier.  The hardest part is defining what fast food really is.  So we defined it as chain places like Mc Donalds, Wendy’s, Arby’s, etc where you could pull up and get a fast meal.  And though we vowed we wouldn’t eat meals from these places, but we didn’t eliminate drinks.  We travel quite a bit by car are recognize that sometimes the only place to stop to get a coffee or refill our water would be a fast food place.  Doug also requested that we not eliminate the ice cream from fast food places (ridiculous, I know!).  He loves an occasional ice cream cone from Mc Donalds because 1. they’re good, 2. they’re cheap!

Places that we do still eat at: Subway, Quiznos, Jimmy Johns, Qdoba and Chipotle.  Yes, I think they are still probably dangerously close to “fast food”, but for most of them, you have to leave your car and the meal is made fresh in front of you.  Calorie wise I know some of the choices might have a greater calorie intake versus something like a salad at Mc Donalds, but the other temptations aren’t there.  To my knowledge you can’t get a fries or the like at any of these.  And for those most part I feel these are more wholesome meal choices for us.

 2015-What’s Next?  Counting pennies…

For 2015, we took a little turn from the food/health resolutions and will instead be focusing on sticking to our budget.  A couple of years prior to marrying Doug I paid off $50,000 in about 18 months by sticking religiously to a budget.  And keep in mind, I wasn’t making too much more than $50,000 a year at that time!  Doug’s student loans are well over my mere $50,000, but we’ll be planning our budget each month and sticking to it.  We’re dedicated to paying off his student loans as quickly as possible so we can spend and give our money on/to things that really matter instead of making interest donations each month to the federal government.  Student loan debt is our ONLY debt and it’s the constant “elephant in the room.”  If you’ve never heard of Dave Ramsey before stay tuned because we’ll be using some of his principles to “clean up our debt mess!”