Th
e Discovery
In mid-December, I was sick as a dog. Well actually, when I think about it, I don’t know why that statement exists, because really, my dogs are very rarely sick. But anyway, I was sick. A relative graciously didn’t let us know that their children were sick until we were at their birthday party (in the cesspool of snotty germs) and another gracious relative insisted the sickies give me a kiss. Common sense apparently isn’t so common on that side. Then to top it off, Doug and I planned to go indoor rock climbing with friends and the relative and one of the sick children was brought and coughed directly on my face. No matter how many wet wipes I used, I had been INFECTED!
So shortly after the visit, I came down with the plague. This particular plague resulted in non-stop coughing and eventually I lost my voice for weeks. I wanted nothing more than to medicate myself with Nyquil and sleep, but my small human demands constant attention. I had been exhausted beyond normal, but I just figured that was the plague. But still, I had been doing my Insanity workout for the last month and tried to continue to do it when sick. But within 5 minutes of starting the workout with Shaun T I’d find myself laying on the floor wanting to sleep! We had just started trying for small human #2 so I figured I’d get a test to check. Low and behold the faint line showed I did some quick calculations and it looked like Isaac would have a new sibling come July 30th, 2015! Now how to tell the husband and hope that the plague didn’t cause any harm.
For those of you that know me personally, you know I love a good prank or surprise. Maybe this is because as a child I always wanted a surprise birthday party. I don’t think I ever told my parents this, but I wanted the big one where people jumped out in hats, balloons, etc. So maybe that’s why I’m compelled to have a little fun with events….or maybe I just like the entertainment. Either way, I had to think of something good because when I told Doug I was pregnant with Isaac I was so shocked since we just started trying, I didn’t even think to be creative and just blurted it.
My husband is a Chiropractor. He’s the straightest arrow I’ve ever met, couldn’t (and won’t) lie to save his life and has a fear of getting in trouble and doing something to offend people (all I can say is that apple fell far from the tree THANKFULLY!). He’s meticulous as a Chiropractor and always treats everyone with respect. That being said, people being people can sometimes say odd things and Doug always worries that he’ll offend them. So I thought I’d perhaps have a little fun with this. I spent a good hour that afternoon creating a very official letter from the Ohio Chiropractic Board.
Basically the letter told him that he had offended a patient and the patient was seeking judgment through the chiropractic board. He was being summoned to appear in court before the board in order to discuss these claims. I went on at the bottom of the letter to say that the patient felt he should; clean the litterbox more, exercise his dog more and make sure the laundry was taken to the basement. It was signed by the very official chair of the Ohio State Chiropractic board…Haywood Jablomy (okay, okay, I messed up and put a y instead of an e….shoot me!). PS. If you aren’t laughing right now ask someone else to say the name Haywood Jablome out loud a few times. If you still aren’t laughing…none of this will be funny and you better just go and watch CNN or something.
Anyway, in the letter I also wrapped up the positive pregnancy test in paper and sealed with tape. I put the entire letter and wrapped test in a very official manila envelope that I printed his name on and I even took the time to cut stamps off of a piece of mail we received so they looked cancelled. Then the waiting came. I could hardly wait until he got home.
When he got home, I told him he had something official looking in the windowsill. He took forever to get it but finally picked it up and Isaac and went to the living room to open it. I tried to look like I was casually cleaning things around the living room. As he started to read the letter he started to vigorously rub his head. He told me to take Isaac that this was important and he had to read it now. So I took Isaac and luckily he was engrossed in the letter otherwise my face would have been a dead giveaway. I asked him what was wrong and he said it was a complaint! He had no idea who! He then turned his attention back to the letter mumbling and started to rip open the test. He was utterly confused for a few seconds. Then came the look of relief and excitement, but a little hesitation…because man…my letter was that good!
Apparently he only read the top part of the letter. He never got to the litterbox or dog walking part and never looked at the name of the Chair of the Ohio State Chiropractic board. He thought the test he opened was actually a “special pen” that he was sent to sign the paperwork to acknowledge that he read it. I’ll admit, a little mean, very funny, and really you can only do things like that once and only when you know the person will be excited about the prank!